secret crowds

Anonymous Asked: "You're fat. You're ugly. You're boyfriend looks like a wookie (in a bad way). I hope you don't make interspecies babies. They'd be gross."

Answer:

First, I must congratulate you on using correct grammar. Contractions are a lost art and you must have paid great attention in elementary school. Which is an impressive feat to accomplish in between poking overweight children and pushing down mentally challenged peers to boost your nonexistent self-esteem.

Secondly, I’m sorry that your family must not have been there to help you grow into an emotionally stable adult, or teen. Your age doesn’t matter, but judging from this completely random outburst of hate anonymously posted on the internet; we’ll just assume the latter. And when posting on the internet and liking pictures of cute cats or scenic views with ‘cry for me life is too hard’ text written over them gets old, the world will hit you like a ton of bricks in your fake Ray-Ban glasses wearing face, and we will laugh. Hysterically.

As for the Wookie comment, have you ever even seen Star Wars? When Chewbacca thought Lando had betrayed Han, Chewie damn near snapped Lando’s neck. Their sense of loyalty, combined with their natural Wookie aggression, make them excellent companions. If you fuck with a Wookie, they will knock you the fuck out. And trust me, my boyfriend will knock you the fuck out.

Also, seriously, come on. Interspecies babies? We’re both obviously extremely attractive human beings. I’m not even going to acknowledge this comment any further.

Have a good night, and thanks for following me. 
<3 Devin